JoeyBahr.com

For a long time, I wanted to write something. At the end of high school it was computer programs. After college it was campaign speeches and commercials. As I approached my quarter-life crisis, I flipped between a movie and a novel.

As I search more and more for what it is I want to do in life, the choice between movie and novel grew larger.

I have always been blessed, or cursed if you will, with a vivid imagination. Many a story has started to percolate inside my brain. I finally decided to take the plunge and write a novel in conjunction with NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) this November. I got about 4,000 words into my idea for a novel when it struck me.

Sure a novel would be a great thing to write. And, I would be able to enjoy a great amount of freedom in what I created. But, I wanted something that I could also turn into a commercial item. Basically, I wanted to make some money off of this.

The chances of getting a novel sold and published are tiny to begin with. The chances of said novel actually selling in a significant enough number to make writing my career are, well let’s just say they are worse than the odds of me finding a pair of 21 year old redhead gals in just skimpy lace lingerie laying in my bed.

So I decided to focus my energy on screenwriting. Granted the chances of becoming a professional writer for TV or films is not very good either, but they remain greater when compared to being a novelist.

Now the issue was, what would I write? I already made the choice it would be screenplay for a movie. (Many more contest for movie scripts to enter than there are for TV scripts.)

I first tried to adapt the idea I had for my novel into one for a script. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it probably wouldn’t work.

Then one day the idea came to me. What about the kids who are always told that they could be President of the United States of America someday? What happens to those kids down the road. What if two of those kids were always rivals throughout school and one day down the road they face off again?

That ladies and gentlemen, is the idea I am turning into a script. I would go into more detail, but I don’t want to give away the full idea and have someone else sell the script before I can get it sold myself.

So stay tuned to here as I show you my progress in churning out my first film script. Should be quite the ride.

And just think, someday down the road you can pop down about $7 on a counter to buy a ticket to see what I wrote. I know you are so thrilled at that prospect.

Only two days from the start of November. For many people that means a colder bite to the air, the first snow, asking people what they want for Christmas, and promises to not eat so much at Thanksgiving. To many others it means the start of National Novel Writing Month, also known as NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo is a month long mad dash to pound out 50,000 words of a novel. The goal is not to make a great novel, but to just write a novel. 50,000 words would give you about a 175 page novel, basically a short novel, unless you are Mitch Albom.

I plan to attempt this feat during November 2006. A recent discovery might complicate things for me. I seem to write best not in front of my trusty Apple iBook, but instead I write the best on paper, by pen. This means that I must choose between writing in my lovely Moleskine notebook or on legal pads. A choice, which by the way, is as tough as choosing between using Microsoft Word, Apple TextEdit, or TexShop as my writing software.

For those who are interested, my writing workflow will be as follows.

1. Plot out or “Storyboard” my novel on 3×5 index cards.
2. Create some character cards that describe different details about the characters in the story.
3. Take an scene card (a 3×5 index card from #1) and handwrite the scene out.
4. Type in the handwritten pages to MS Word–This will serve as the first revision also.

A little complicated? Yes, but from the test I have already did a week or so ago, I think it will work out great for me.

So, wish me luck in my quest for 50,000 words. You can keep up to date with my progress here.

For many years now I have pursued the training of squirrels for world domination. I am pleased to say that my training is starting to bare fruit.

Soon my furry tailed minions will be going after more than bike riding opera singers. I won’t let you know where they will show up next.

Yeah, so I missed judged what that tropical system was going to do.  But, in consolation, I did nail the fact that gas prices were going up.

Yeah I’m not celebrating that fact either.

Be prepared for the price at your pump to go up even more in the next few days. Tropical Storm (and soon to be Hurricane) Chris is on a nice course though the Carribean and into the Gulf of Mexico.

5-Day Forecast Track for TS Chris. (From the National Hurricane Center)

The problem if Chris heads on its current track is that it will start to affect the Gulf of Mexico drilling platforms. Remember how much gas spiked up last year when Katrina hit those platforms?

Hopefully the same will not happen again, but the way the oil industry is these days, it will be hard to imagine them restraining themselves.

Time to start saving up the quarters, dimes, nickels, and even pennies cause were going to need them.

Once again the fun of campaign finance reports in Kansas.  The Topeka Capitol-Journal has a great break down of each war chest.

The choice quote in the article comes from Christian Morgan, campaign manager for State Senator Jim Barnett’s Gubernatorial Campaign.  In response to the news that current Governor Kathleen Sebelius raised $2 million, Morgan stated:

"She’s got $2 million on hand. She’s going to need every penny of that to beat Jim Barnett."

Mr. Morgan, let me just remind you to be careful of what you wish for.  We’ll see how you survive getting all two million dollars in the General Election.

There are those times and incidents that you watch and just hope that things will either end or look like they are getting better at the least. The current situation in Israel is just one of those situations. Unfortunately, the only direction for this has been down.

The problem started when Hamas militants kidnapped an Israeli soldier. Prime Minister Ehud Olmert decided that the soldier needed to be returned and without the prisoner swap the militants wanted.

Thus the Israeli Defense Forces moved into Gaza. They bombed and shelled power stations. Imposed a lock down on areas they were occupying. Pursued people they suspected as helping the militants. They also took the extraordinary step of arresting members of the Palestinian Parliament. The thoroughness of this operation is breathtaking.

Yet, we hadn’t seen anything yet.

Yesterday, members of Hezbollah kidnapped two Israeli soldiers near the border with Lebanon. Now the IDF have Lebanon in their sights. They just hit the runways of the international airport and a major Lebanese Army base near the Syrian border.

The question to ask is how much farther down can this go?

Given the current pace, I would not be surprised if Syria gets involved actively. I mean an actual war between the nations, not just the back door support they give to Hamas and Hezbollah. If Syria has not actively engaged within a week, if not a lot quicker, I’ll be very surprised.

Would Iran jump in too? Egypt? Nothing can be ruled out right now. I’m sure that somewhere in the depths of the IDF headquarters someone is even thinking of how to use their nukes.

Let’s hope that someone finally gets smart and brings all the sides to a table and negotiates an end to this. Otherwise, everyone all over the world will feel this problem at the pump.

Ah, nothing like the commercials for drugs these days. Right now the worst of all of the ads is the one for Flomax. Flomax is a drug that is supposed to help men with prostrate problems pee better.

Now somewhere in the depths of the Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (the makers of Flomax) they had to ask how can we make a commercial for this wonder drug. Obviously this is something that only men can use, so you gotta have a lot of men. Also they need to be doing manly things. Things like driving a muscle car, fishing, playing golf, maybe throw a woman in the mix for good measure.

Yes, the Flomax commercial, which you can see here, features all of these elements, only they are in the most affeminate way possible.

A group of for men, supposedly all enjoying the expanded freedom that Flomax provides, are in a first-gen Ford Mustang, but it is teal colored. Hardly a manly color. Then they show two guys looking at a camera, which you can see in the screen cap above, and they appear to be gushing. Honestly, do guys gush at an image on a camera? Well, maybe if it is of their hot girlfriend in lingerie or naked.

The fishing boat scene is ok, but still not very manly. Then there is a scene with one of the guys in bed with his wife, which is so fake that even Paris Hilton could have pulled it off better. (Yes, I know mentioning Paris Hilton is a sop to the googlers out there looking for more naked pics of her. Gotta get the pageviews up somehow.)

Then more fishing, this time it’s fly fishing in a stream. I must say that some of the scenes they have in this stream feature some homosexual overtones. Almost up there with “Brokeback Mountain” there, but I digress.

Next the commercial transports you to a golf course. The men are out on the links and obviously enjoying themselves. Again more homosexual implications in the imagery.

Finally, the climax, if you will, of the commerical. The men in the mustang are back. But the two old men in the back seat don’t have a camera this time. No, they have water bottles. And, they “clink” them like men who just won a game or a big contract would beer bottles.

My god, how much more can this ad agency castrate these men?!

If I have a problem getting a good stream of pee, how would this commercial make me want to use this drug?

Use Flomax, you will be able to pee again, but your balls….well that’s a different story.

The sad thing is that this company has made a large enough media buy for this stupid commerical that it crowds out valid commercials, like those for beer and Victoria’s Secret.

For all you Kansans who have a hankering to fire off some bottle rockets this weekend even though they are illegal, let me offer an alternative.

45,000 Bottle Rockets shooting off in less than 2 minutes.

Wow, that was pretty.

Well it’s almost the end of my second week of living in the Poconos, and I’m hoping to dry out sooner or later.

No, I have not finally taken up drinking and crawled into a bottle. Parts of Monroe County, Pennsylvania had around 12 inches of rain in the span of about 6 days. Obviously, things flooded.

Fortunately the waters have begun to receed and hopefully we will stay dry for a while.

I have to say that this is definitely an interesting place to live. The mix of humanity helps to makes this place unique. You have people that come straight from New York and New Jersey. People from other countries. Finally, people that have lived here most of their lives. The melting pot here is beyond anything I have seen in Kansas.

The terrain is beautiful, especially in Pike County.

Well off to enjoy the weekend. I’ll try and put some pictures up on here soon of the area.

Talk to you later.